Once in a while, natures produces something that you wouldn’t believe existed until you saw it with your own eyes. Interestingly, most of these strange animals are found in the world’s oceans. This is probably the result of a few million years of angry evolution where you’ve stuck enough fish to feed the human race in a place that forces you to swim in your poop. (remember, fish don’t have eyelids) .

#5 
The Irukandji Jellyfish 

The Lowdown

This little thing is only about the size of your thumbnail  is the most venemous animal on the planet. Its venom causes typically “excruciating muscle cramps in the arms and legs, severe pain in the back and kidneys, and a burning sensation of the skin and face), headaches, nausea, restlessness, sweating, vomiting, high heart rate and blood pressure”. In fact, if you’re unlucky, you may even get pulmonary oedema, where fluids collect in your lungs. Not a very pretty sight. Things get better. The symptoms last for days, and morphine cannot reduce the pain. Then you die.

Its kind of hard to believe that these things are so fragile that they’ll die from the impact if they knock against the wall of their holding capsule. 

Our Take

Luckily for humans everywhere, these little blighters only pop up with regularity in Northern Queensland, where they infest the waters from October to May. So, if we ever happen to go diving in Australian waters, this is just one more reason we’ll refuse to go down into the water without anything less than a full suit and a hard hat.

#4
Goblin Shark 

The Lowdown

Remember the alien in the movie Alien, the one that had telescoping jaws and could bite people’s heads off? It exists, and its called the Goblin Shark. This prehistoric fish lives in the deep sea, about 250m to 1500m down, so they are rarely encountered, which is good, because this thing is downright freaky. Its jaws can move independently of its head, and can telescope forwards to catch prey.

Watch the video of the shark’s jaw telescoping.

Our Take

Once again, we feel really lucky that this animal lives at the bottom of the sea, because if I wanted to see something that needs braces as much as this thing does, I would stay at home and watch beauty and the geek. Reef sharks look postively cute and cuddly next to this thing.

#3
Crown-of-Thorns Starfish

The Lowdown

Ok, I cheated. Everybody knows about the Crown of Thorns. Right from the beginning of your Open Water Diver’s course, the fact that Crowns-of-thorn are evil because they eat the coral that keeps scuba diving from being an exercise in featureless sandy bottom appreciation will be shoved down your throats. But aside from being really big and something that you really want to stay away from if you have problems with bouyancy control, this critter has so much badass written all over it, only its mother could love it.

First off, its the second largest sea star in the sea (its big), being able to grow to about the size of a car tyre. Only the giant sunstar is larger. Secondly, its body is covered with sharp spines (its dangerous) that contain a neurotoxin (its poisonous) that causes nausea and vomiting. Thirdly, they’re able to regenerate themselves whole from any limb, and they can survive without food for 6 months. (they’re bleeding unkillable) And last, but not least, they eat by extruding their stomachs onto coral polyps. (they’re so damn hungry they evolved away a mouth between food and stomach)

Our Take

Luckily, we’re not plagued to be overrun by them anytime soon, because extreme as they are, there are fish in the sea that eat these critters, and they can be killed by injecting soduim bisphosphate into their arms. All heave a sigh of relief.

#2
Water Bears (Tardigrades)

 The Lowdown

Water bears are called water bears because they appear to walk with a “bear’s gait”. These citters live all over the world, from the Himalayas (above 4000m) to the deep sea (below 6000m). They grow to a maximum size of 1.5mm, at least on land. I’m not looking forward to finding out if these things exhibit abyssal gigantism

Water bears are even more unkillable than the crown-of-thorns. They’re so impervious to extreme conditions, I have to put them in a list.

1. They can survive both being boiled in water (tap water filtration companies take note) as well as at absolute zero, where helium turns liquid. 
2. They can survive in vaccum and up to 6000atm (c0nditions that you cannot find in nature)
3. They can survive dehydrated for up to 10 years
4. They can survive in space for days, exposed to solar radiation 1000x the lethal dose humans can take, and then, get this, reproduce. 

Our Take

Despite making Arnold Schwarzenegger look like playdough, most water bears are actually relaxed, peaceful herbivores, kind of like an Abrams tank that eats grass and moos. In fact, if you stare at them long enough, they start to grow on you. The one living garden? I call him Bob.

#1
Macropinna Macrostoma

This fish will blow your mind. Words cannot do it justice.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 13th, 2009 at 2:37 pm and is filed under Humor, Lists, Underwater animals. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.